11 things I have learned about life

       I turned 50 at the beginning of this year. Half a century. That may be young for a country or a tree, but it sounds pretty old when you apply it to yourself. I mean, I still feel so young - sometimes even immature. I can't be fifty! I still regularly say and do stupid things, I have not yet attained a perfectly svelte figure and I have not conquered    the world as I had planned to do. Yet, here I am, feeling the odd creak in my body when I wake up in the mornings; having to wear reading classes and regularly forgetting where I put my keys. What happened?

       I figured there had to be some compensation for not being able to call myself young anymore and so I pondered this for a while. What advantage has my 50th birthday given me that I did not have when I was, say, 20? What have I learned in life so far?

 What I came up with, is by no means original. I cannot even claim that it is exceptionally wise. But what follows are 11 things I know now, which would have made my life a lot easier if I had known (or internalized) and applied them twenty or thirty years ago. 

   

      1. If you desperately try to control potentially disastrous situations, you may end up making things worse. Take a deep breath, let go and relax. Things usually work out on their own.

      2. People care about how you make them feel. They may be impressed or amused by you,    but what  ultimately determines whether they like you or not; is how they feel about themselves when they are with you.

  

     3.  Family is key in life. Friends are important; possessions may enhance your life, but only family will love you in your most unlovable moments   

     

      4. No one is 100% reliable or trustworthy. Not even you. Be careful to whom you entrust your weaknesses and your deepest secrets and who you burden with your highest expectations. The latter is best reserved for God.

      5. If you are too cautious with your trust, you may become suspicious, cynical and rather lonely. Find a balance that sits well with you.

.     6. God is unfathomable. You will make yourself sick or mad trying to determine which version  of Him, presented here on earth; is the right one. Just accept that He is and walk with Him by the light that you have.

  

     7.Your children are not your possessions (to paraphrase Kahlil Gibran). They are independent people with their own minds, dreams and destinies. It is your privilege to guide them on their paths, but not your right to choose the path.

      8.You never, ever fully appreciate anything until it is gone. (This is a cliché because it is true.)The same goes for people. And regret is painful and useless. Try to remember this when you find yourself taking things or people for granted.

     9. It does not matter how much money you have; it will never be enough. Not if you try to use it to fill the holes in your self-esteem. Fabulously wealthy people regularly commit suicide or destroy themselves with the stupid things they do when they realize this. Don’t think you will be the exception. You won’t. (Although I still suspect I might be...)  So – stop comparing yourself to others and appreciate what you have.

   

     10. As it says in the Bible, the power of both life and death is in your tongue. Consider which of the two your  words will sow in the life of another. Think ten times before you speak, count to 100 if you must, but be careful. Children are fragile, and so are adults – even grown men.

      11. Be kind to yourself. That way it will be easier to be kind to the people you care about. And anyway, life is hard enough without piling pressure on yourself.

       So, there you have it: what stands out for me as truths to live by. Being fifty is cool, after all...

    

      What about you? What has life taught you that you wish you knew years ago?

    Until my next sleepless ramble -

                                                             Christine